MARION COBRETTI.com
CAB DOORS COME PACKED WITH 10 ESSENTIAL NUTRIENTS
COBRETTI EXCLUSIVE!!!!
STAR WARS DELETED FOOTAGE!!!
GREETINGS FROM THE
ZOMBIE FAMILY
I wish, I wish upon a Starr....
Basa, become a member of the Zombie family in the future, near not far.
KOBRETTI'S KOLLECTION OF
K KONTINUES TO KAUSE
KONVERSATION!!!
Czeck out Today's Updates!!
COBRETTI NEWS EXKLUSIVE!!!1!
400' TALL BEAST RAVISHES "D.C."
Reports at this time are lacking the kind of detail we typically demand of our sources here at marioncobretti.com, but this will have to do...
A MASSIVE 400 FOOR TALL BEAST WITH FEATHERS GROWING FROM ITS EARS IS RAVISHING TAXI CAB DOORS AND WEIGHTLIFTING BELT STORES IN D.C., CAUSING PANIC AND SOMETHING CALLED "BOX OFFICE BOFFO"
Preliminary camera phone photos show the beast destroying car doors, towering behind former comedian cum "gigilo" Paul Rodrigues as well as threatening some guy with a flame thrower who appears to be be living inside the engine of a car. It also appears that a body has been devoured save the legs, which have been stuffed in a trunk, possibly to feed the man living in the engine of the adjacent vehicle who will cook them with his flamethrower.
While we don't typically encourage panic, this is a time to panic, so please do so by destroying someone's plants, preferably Basa's.
You may also destroy Basa. Da Da Deets To Da B.
MARION COBRETTI or
MARION KOBRETTI????
FRESHLY UPDATED TODAY!!1!
CLICK HERE FOR THE FULL INVETEGATION
INTO THIS ONGOING CONSPIRACY
BOOTLEGGING MUST STOP!!
CORETTI MUSIK MUNITE EXCLUSIVE!!!
Friends! I was shopping in Pacific Mall this morning and came across a number if "Illegal Bootleg" music and movies. These artists work hard to entertain and eroticize us, and what do we do? We spit on their graves by stealing from them. Just look at this illegal Compact Disc I picked up in Pacific Mall this morning. The differences are so subtle, they're almost invisible to the naked eyE!!
PLEASE FRIENDS. STOP ALL THE DOWNLOADING.
For more informationon all the downloading and how you can help, please click here.
Cobretti Movie Exclusive Discovery!!!
"THE WORLD ACCORDING TO L.A.R.P."
Has Anyone Seen this film?? I caught it over the weekend and it was amazing!!! It tells the story of one man's journey as he makes his way through the international ranks of L.A.R.P (Live Action Role Playing) to become a Grande Sorcerer, or "GS". Its a twelve sided tale of what it takes to become a GS; one that I won't soon forget. Here's the trailer.
KONGRADULATIONS BASA!!
On behalf of the staff here at Marion Cobretti.com, we'd like to endend a Laurel and Hardy handshake to Fanzine President and majority shareholder, Cevin Kolbert. Today is Cevin's one month anniversary as President! Basa, you are a true friend of this site and were it not for your faith, devotion and tireless fundraising initiatives, we would have gone the way of Yahoo years ago. Thank you for your support and may your first child be a masculine child. Your friend, Cobra. DTB.
THE TRUTH REVEALED!!!!!
With Respect and Reverence.
Marion Cobretti.com Presents...
The Feeding of the Magic Seeds to the Cat
(Nuts, Apparently)
Click Here For The Komplete Story
BASA IS A THIEF, KON MAN, LIAR AND POSSIBLY A NECROMANCER.
HIS MAGIC IS WEAK. HIS RUSE WILL BE EXPOSED.
MAY HIS ANCESTORS BE PUNISHED ON ALL CELESTIAL BODIES IN WHICH THEY INHABIT.
BASA IS OUR ENEMY.
MUSIK MINUTE
This is a new Rappper discovered on the
Beaches of New York City Last Weekend.
Inspirational to see a rich man with a giant
sombrero recommending cheaper means of
blocking the sun for those less fortunate.
AMAZING DISCOVERY!
CZECH OUT THIS TOTALLY FAB
GROUNDBREAKING VIDEO!
THE COBRA IS LOVIN' IT!®
AN OPEN LETTER
Dear Mother at GameRama,
Hi. You may recognize me. I'm the kind gentleman attempting to purchase a used copy of Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six: Las Vegas. Appreciate that you want to purchase little Costa (names have not been altered) a copy of "Super Mario Galaxy". That said, there is NO EXCUSE for you to molest Frank the game salesman for over 20 minutes while I waste my time playing a hacked copy of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare with a 6 year old child while waiting for my turn at the cash. I work in the area. I have employees who could walk into this store at any minute. They CANNOT see me playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare with a six year old child in my work clothes. Please Mother, let me pass.
Cobra
HI FRIENDS.
I FOUND AN AMAZING MUSIC VIDEO
WHILE "SURFING THE "NETTE"
REMEMBER TO SUPPORT THE ARTISTS
REMEMBER NOT SUPPORT BASA'S ONGOING RUSE
COBRETTI EXCLUSIVE!!!
MATTHEW BRODERICK DIAGNOSED
WITH RARE FORM OF DEPRESSION!
Our prayers go out to Matthew's family, friends and wife, Sloan.
POET'S CORONER
Office Coffee Man
Office Coffee man, your beans doth fill the bowl,
Office Coffee Man, your trolley doth soothe my soul.
Office Coffee man, your product is sub-par,
Office Coffee Man, you're the "Jones" to my Star.
Office Coffee Man, your round head is very bald,
Office Coffee Man, your piss-warm products never scald.
Office Coffee Man, the evening draws near,
Office Coffee Man, go home and savour a piss warm beer.
Farnell
Hi, I'm Anthony Farnell.
Today's Global News Weather calls for more of me being a complete douchebag with a 85%chance of me being an even bigger douchebag tomorrow.
SPITZER HOOKER CONSPIRACY
A "source" has revealed "that" the Ashley Olsen Dupre, the young "woman" at the "head" of the Spitzer hooker "scandal", may in fact be part of an ongoing "conspiracy". A number of conspiracy "theories" point "" to the fact that she "interacted" with "children" both prior to and after the i"ncident". This is proof of a conspiracy. "Basa" is a "fraud".
SAVE ASHLEY OLSEN DUPREE
Please donate here
People helping people.
MASSIVE NEWS ITEM!!!!
GOLD MAN ARRESTED!!!!1!!
Exclusive to Marioncobretti.com
Cops Strike Gold (Man)
As any regular visitor to marioncobretti.com can attest, we have been following the career of Gold Man for years. He has now been accused of selling "crack" cocaine, a drug illegal in most states. Gold Man explained to the undercover police who busted him that "It wasn't even mine, I sold it for a friend. I needed the money so I could take a day off from my day job as the Gold Man." In a shocking development, the police did not even permit Gold Man to remove his trademark Gold (man) face Paint.
This is an injustice to (Gold) men the world over.
Gold Man being escorted into a police car earlier today
SAVE GOLD MAN FUND
Dear Friends,
Marioncobretti.com has been contacted by Gold Man's representatives as we're the closest thing he has to a major media outlet at this time. Funds are being collected for his defence. The charges have already been proven to be false. Please donate here. Gold Man has asked me to thank all of you in advance.
The Cobra
EXCLUSIVE NEWS ALERT!!!!
Sly Wrestles with "Cobra"!!!
Dear Cobraz,
This exclusive image is proof that Sly is in talks to star in Cobra 2. Here is proof! He is using this image to sell the movie studio on his close relationship with Cobra/Cobras, a bond that will never be broke. This image is the biggest news. More to come as this story unfolds. Death to Basa.
- The Cobra
A memo to Members of the New World Order:
I seem to have lost one of my matchbooks during out last shootout. I think it was lost around the time when I killed the henchman with the dirty overalls. If any surviving henchmen have seen my matches, I would appreciate it if you returned them. Please indicate where my matches are in your next threat, I would appreciate their return before our next bloodbath.
A MESSAGE ABOUT PARNKIG ON OUR PROPERTY. PLEASE READ BEFORE YOUR PARNK.
More News on Basa
It's my pleasure to announce that the marioncobretti.com fanbase has grown such that we now have our own fanzine! Regular site visitor Basa has volunteered to be our first Fanzine President. The position will be salaried through marioncobretti.com advertising revenues.
Congradulations BasAMOM
Evidence of Basa being Egg'd on a Frozen Lake.
Here is Evidence of Basa recently being egg'd. YOu may be confused, thinking, "how can this be a recent picture, his outfit is clearly from 1989. Do not be fooled, this snap was taken less than one week ago. My sources indicate that Basa is the first person on the planet to actually get egg'd whilst walking on water other than that time the Romans egg's Jesus whilst walking on water. The evidence is here. Basa has been egg'd. We have similar evidence of the other incident in question, but due to legalities vis a vis the courts we cannot publish at this moment. Please check in a www.marioncobretti.com for further updates. Also, please visit my bedroomand don't forget to try your skillz at a game of Pac Man..
PLease kick on the picture to view the obvious egging in full size.
Do NOT TRUST BASA OR HIS MINIONS
In the news this week:
Basa Elected President of the marioncobretti.com Fanzine
Cobra to be remade starring Sylvester Stallone
University Professor says that Cobra is a good movie.
Basa's Latest Ruse a Failure
Eskimo Tragedy.Basa. Fraud, Friend or Foe? Or Mo?
Basa is not to be trusted.
