Throghout the ages, man has longed to replace all his C's with K's.. Today, that dream is finally becoming a reality. Statistiks have proven K to be a superior letter.
Here's Proof
K-Pax. A little background. As we all know, the summer of 1992 was stuffed with some of the biggest movies of all time. Blockbusters like Titanic, one of the Star Warses and other stuff made it difficult for artsy fartsy fare like C-Pax to "break through the clutter". Wait a cotton pickin'. Did we just say C-Pax? I thought that "little movie that kould" was called K-Pax! Well, it was, originally. No it wasn't. Yes it was. Fuck you. What about you dad? Fuck you. No, DAD WHAT ABOUT YOU . FUCK YOU! NO DAD, WHAT ABOUT YOU? FUCK YOU! BAM!! John Bender gets punched in the head over the lettering of C-Pax.
Anyway, here's a before and after of the two posters. As you can see, the completely different film on the right was destined for greatness. Note how Spacey's Feces Eating Smile sings such a sweet song in the revised poster. In the other poster he just looks like a total douche. Also note how Bridges', "From Lebowski to this Shit" look is all the more heart wrenching in the K poster. It's almost as if the K acted as a tractor beam, pulling the shame and humiliation out of the veteran aktor.
Korn. Rap Rock Pioneers Korn (or KoЯn) are famous for two things, being the first band to combine Rap musik and Heavy Metal Musik into the sonata of joy we today call Rap Rok and for spelling their vegetable name korrectly. A bit of shitstory. Rap Rokkers Corn were formed in 1992 in Paolo Alto, Iowa by three unrelated friends with the same last name, Roland, Robert and Rupert Silverstein. All unrelated sons of prominent corn ranchers with the same last name, friends were apt to call the Silverstein brothers "Corns" even thought they were not brothers. The name stuck, so three years later in 1992 when the brothers formed a band, they named it Corn in memory of their corn farmer father who was killed in a silo explosion earlier that day. Their mother was proud. Anyway, despite some success in the flourising Boisie Rap Rock scene, Corn was unable to secure a record deal. Enter fledgeling record producer Howard Michael Johns. Despite being a douche, HMJ immediately went about re-imaging the band by changing the "C" in Corn to a "K". An international sensation immediately took hold with fans flocking to see the "K", and in some instances, the backwards "R" or "Я".
Kalifornia! Long before the Govenor Arnokd Skhwrtzenegger pioneered pronouncing Kullifornia korrectly, maverick flimmaker Dominic Sena (Gone in Sixty Seconds, Swordfish) realized that spelling "Kalifornia" as such was the key to box office "gold". The result of that mental fart was Kalifornia, a 1992 film that immediately created an intergalactic sensation. Starring David Duchovny and some cheap Tea Leone lookalike, Kalifornia featured a steamy performance by recently disgraced child actor, Brad Pitt (above). The film also featured Bill Crabb as "Middle Aged Farmer". You may remember Bill Crabb from other memorable roles, such as "Gas Station Attendant" in We are Marshall, "Redneck" in Stroker Ace and, of course "Redneck Two" in Door to Door. Bill Crabb. Bill Crabb. Bill Crabb. Bill Crabb. Bill Crabb. Bill Crabb. Bill Crabb. Bill Crabb. Bill Crabb. Bill Crabb. Bill Crabb. Bill Crabb. Bill Crabb. Bill Crabb. Bill Crabb. Bill Crabb. Bill Krabb. Bill Krabb. Bill Krabb. Bill Krabb. Bill Krabb. Bill Krabb. Bill Krabb. Bill Krabb. Bill Krabb. Bill Krabb. Bill Krabb. Bill Krabb. Bill Krabb. Bill Krabb.
Kool. As Chain Smoking Penguin (above) can attest, Kool is kuite the menthol! A short history of Kool: Having complained for years that their cigarttes were too hot (likely due to the fact that they were on fire), brave smokers worldwide rallied together in 1992 to demand their cigarettes defy all laws of physics. After days of testing on diseased rats, smokemaker Hasbro developed a new, "kooler" smoke, one sensitive enough on the throat to allow Chain Smoking Penguins to light one cigarette off another without melting. Initially named "Cool", the cigarette flopped because smokers did not associate the word Cool with coldness. After consulting a number of Penguins who could spell in addition to smoke, it was decided to pay the extra royalty fees and switch to a more expensive letter: K. The newly "minted" Kool was an immediate international sensation, taking penguins and humans alike by storm. (Death to) Basa also smokes Kools, Koz and many other K-Related smokes.
Klaus Kinski. Here we have a true "rags to riches" story. Little known German actor and humanitarian, Claus Cinski was largely unknown despite his memorable work in a numerous international dinner theatre productions of "Guys and Dolls". Then, in 1992, his agent, Cevin Kolbert, advised Mr. Cinski to take on the stage name "Klaus Kinski" in order to add a little "sass" to his "nom de plum". Claus agreed and also donated money to charity to mark the occasion. Klaus has since become a true international sensation . Death to Cevin Kolbert.
Mortal Kombat. What's that you say? "Insert "Koin" to Kontinue"? Don't mind if I do, sir! In the wake of the great Street Fighter 2 senstation of 1992, video game pioneer Williams Entertainment knew they needed a "2" of their own. The problem, of course, was "breaking through the clutter". Solution? You got Pontiak; rename the failing Mortal Combat franchise "Mortal Kombat" and use a II instead of a 2 or two. The results were immediate and caused an international sensation, far surpasing SF2's localized sensations.
Krispy Kreme. The Godfather of Korporate K. Realizing that a K would help them sell more doughnuts, Crispy Creme changed their name to Krispy Kreme in 1992. The response was overwhelming. The rest, as they say, is kistory.
Kar Kare. Automotive titan James Estep of (we think, but don't really care) Texas, was one of the world's first marketers to realise that spelling Kar with a K actually allowed him to fix kars better. Having struggled with is Car Care business for over three decades, Mr. Estem renamed his flagship location on Murphy Road, next to the Super 8 motel and across from "Whataburger", Kar Kare in 1992. The response was overwelming. Now Kar owners bring their Kars there for Kompletely Konsiderate Kare of their kutomobiles.
Kuik Kopy. Kopy business pioneer (insert name of bozo who started Kwik Kopy) realised from the "get go" that spelling Quick Copy, Kwik Kopy improved sales of copies of stuff. The business, started in 1992 was an immediate success and has since become an international sensation. Customers were awed at the speed at which Kwik Kopy could Kuickly write the word "Quick". Later studies have proven that this speed was achieved by replacing the Q and U with a K and W and then dumping the useless C at the end. Kwik Kopy has since reached near mythical proportions in some countries including France.